I did get hold of Dr. Wagner by phone. I then remembered that his appointment is 10:30 in the morning, and I have a chiropractic appointment at 10:40! I could leave him at the hospital during that time, and I’d rather not—he doesn’t like it there. Somehow the schedule will work tomorrow. We did meds and went to bed. I put him on a couple of towels, in case he pees in bed again. I was exhausted.
I woke up in the middle of the night – probably around 4:30. I’m not sleeping deeply enough. A big wave of sadness came up. Not now—I could stay up grieving all night. Better to rest. Since he hadn’t peed before bed, I picked him up and took him to his box. He went, and we went back to bed. Such a good kitty.
The alarm went off at 8:30. I got some sleep; not quite enough. We did meds and I had breakfast. Mom called while I was getting ready, and we had a nice talk. I have a new niece! Chloe Therese Edgar, born to my brother John and wife Lori. Very neat.
I was going to take Butterscotch to Cynthia’s before the hospital, but the schedule won’t allow this. She said to bring him after.
We went to the hospital. I carry him around on a towel; I think this is more comfortable for him. it’s more stable sitting in my lap in the car. He now settles right down and curls up.
Julia, a student, did the intake and then Dr. Wagner joined us. I don’t remember much from the consult at this point. They took him back for bloodwork, and I went to the chiropractor. Great appointment; I had lots of stuff out of alignment. Body feels much freer now.
I was half-way back to the hospital when I had this thought/feeling come in of “I don’t know how much longer I can do this.” Like this is tearing me apart and wearing me down. And it is wearing me down—I’m not resting enough. That needs to change somehow. I realized I was hungry. There’s Brennan’s. I stopped and got stuff from the deli for lunch. I’ll eat it at Cynthia’s. While I was looking in the cooler to get a water, a big wave of sadness came up. I thought about the story I tell people during Taking It Lightly, except it was water instead of spaghetti I was picking out. I appreciated the irony of it.
I got back to the hospital. Dr. Wagner, apparently, was on a phone call. I waited for 30 or 40 minutes. Julia would go by every so often and give me a ‘just a minute’ motion. I was starving at this point, and was getting a bit frustrated. I didn’t need a consult, I just needed to get my cat OUT OF HERE. She could call me later. I would have gone to do something about it, but knew it would do no good—they’re big about proper channels there. Someone from the pharmacy came out to let me know there wasn’t a tech there now to prepare the Cyclosporin (we’re out). I said I’d come back this evening to get it.
Finally I saw Dr. Wagner carrying the boy with Julie following, heading to an exam room. By the time she opened the door, I was about to open it myself. She looked surprised, “How did you know I was here? Are you psychic?” “I saw you heading in here through the window.” She then said (not sarcastically), “Ok, you’re psychic—what do you think his potassium level is?” “Still low.” (smile) “It’s perfect.” She seemed happy and a bit pleased with herself. Indeed, she was “right”. It was the potassium. His electrolytes are stable. He’s a miracle cat. And I thought back to receiving several emails from the healers, some of whom said, “You should see some changes soon.”
Dr. Wagner seemed surprised and a bit annoyed that the Cyclosporin wasn’t ready. I told her what the pharmacy person had said. “Well, there were techs there this morning when I put the order in.” They’ve overgrown that clinic and are raising $11 million to build and renovate.
We debriefed for something like a half an hour. I then sprung the boy and drove to Cynthia’s. Starving starving. The three of us sat in the guest room while we talked and I ate. I shared with her my feeling of being worn down, and she suggested I not be so vigilant. Get rest. Other good stuff.
I left him with her while I went to work so she could do a session with him. I needed to have a project printed so that others could come in tomorrow to stuff the attendee badges for the tradeshow. I worked, took a nap, worked a bit more. Finished. I then went to the hospital to get the prescription, and got the boy. Cynthia showed me how to put the ophthalmolic goop in his eyes. Since his immune system is suppressed, he’s got a couple of ulcers near his eyes and his nose. We need to protect his eyes from corneal ulcers.
I kept Butterscotch in a room with everything he’d need and slept alone last night. Finally, good rest! He’s staying quiet today, and clinically he looks better—lots of grooming, eating, etc. I spoke with Cynthia this morning. He’s past this crisis, yet he’s still very serious. There are three things that could kill him: the original anemia for which he’s getting the steroid to limit the immune response, the partial heart failure due TO the steroid, and viral or bacterial infections that have already begun as a result of the steroid and Cyclosporin. It’s a balancing act. Similarly, he needs to stay a little dehydrated. If he were normally hydrated, his heart would have to work harder due to more fluid in his blood which leaks into his body cavity. If he were to get too dehydrated, he could die of circulatory collapse. He’s on a tightwire. While I feel much relieved that he’s past this crisis, I still need to be prepared for him to go any day. Cynthia and I are going to reduce the steroid today. He needs the immune response, and his heart needs a break. Cynthia will deal with Dr. Wagner on this on Monday. <g>
I’m going to futz for a bit longer, spend some time with the boy and go get lunch.